Contemplating

According to my friends and fellow villagers, I am turning into a hermit.
“You’ll never improve your Greek if you never come for coffee.” says one villager.
“What do you do inside all day?” the other asks.
“What the fuck is she doing up there all day, all by herself?” some friends wonder.

As if it is very mysterious.
Nothing is less true.
My days are filled with everything and nothing.
I just enjoy and chew.

Enjoying

Enjoying the fact that I finally have my “own” roof over my head again. In a beautiful place. Cosy, colourful and very importantly, cool in the summer. But also nice and warm in winter, because of my wood-burning stove that feeds on prunings from olive and mulberry trees. Practical and again, very importantly, with a nice vibe. And then that great electric stove, It’s an oldie but I can do magic with it.

Simple but completely good.

I love living in a space that is large by my standards, which probably looks more like a tiny house in the eyes of others. A mini version of those (artist) lofts in American films. I daydream with an incredible view on a landscape that presents itself differently every hour of the day and in every season. Thios, my previous home village, is within sight, down by the sea. My friends are there too.

The skies in winter are fascinating. Strands that pass through the village like streamers. (talking about clouds here) I have delicious and healthy food, see my friends now and then, sensibly disobedient on a regular basis.

Chewing

Writing about my past is confronting. So I reflect. The image I have of myself colours itself differently during the writing.

I’ve always thought that I was manoeuvring through life quite assertively. But I have realized that I have also left very important things for what they were, just for the sake of peace. Trying to please everyone can become self-destructive.

So I have accepted that, intend to be more aware and adjusted my self-image again. Come back to my core.

We move around in strange times and those are not over yet. A very confusing time, so much (contradictory) information but worse, so much fear, worry and sadness.

What I also chew on a lot, because it scares me, is the hardening between people. No understanding or respect for other opinions. No dialogue but positions. Assumptions. Aggression. The reptilian brain in action. Understandable, but that doesn’t make it okay.

I chew on that too.

I live in slow motion in a kind of cocoon with which I also bounce off a lot of interaction. And I am equally satisfied.
I’ve found a new and creative hobby and I listen to my music.

But it has been bubbling again for a few days. A flow that is energetic, more lively and more extroverted. As talkative as I started out, as taciturn as I was in my blog in the last months.
The cocoon becomes a soap-bubble.

There was nothing and everything.

A silver lining

Everything is bubbling to be told because really every day has a silver lining. Before I go to sleep, I just look at the day, specifically at what was good about the day. There is always something good to be found in a day. Even if it was a shitty one. Hope you see those silver linings too.

Music: Lukas Nelson – Simple Life