Contemplating

According to my friends and fellow villagers, I am turning into a hermit.
“You’ll never improve your Greek if you never come for coffee.” says one villager.
“What do you do inside all day?” the other asks.
“What the fuck is she doing up there all day, all by herself?” some friends wonder.

As if it is very mysterious.
Nothing is less true.
My days are filled with everything and nothing.
I just enjoy and chew.

Enjoying

Enjoying the fact that I finally have my “own” roof over my head again. In a beautiful place. Cosy, colourful and very importantly, cool in the summer. But also nice and warm in winter, because of my wood-burning stove that feeds on prunings from olive and mulberry trees. Practical and again, very importantly, with a nice vibe. And then that great electric stove, It’s an oldie but I can do magic with it.

Simple but completely good.

I love living in a space that is large by my standards, which probably looks more like a tiny house in the eyes of others. A mini version of those (artist) lofts in American films. I daydream with an incredible view on a landscape that presents itself differently every hour of the day and in every season. Thios, my previous home village, is within sight, down by the sea. My friends are there too.

The skies in winter are fascinating. Strands that pass through the village like streamers. (talking about clouds here) I have delicious and healthy food, see my friends now and then, sensibly disobedient on a regular basis.

Chewing

Writing about my past is confronting. So I reflect. The image I have of myself colours itself differently during the writing.

I’ve always thought that I was manoeuvring through life quite assertively. But I have realized that I have also left very important things for what they were, just for the sake of peace. Trying to please everyone can become self-destructive.

So I have accepted that, intend to be more aware and adjusted my self-image again. Come back to my core.

We move around in strange times and those are not over yet. A very confusing time, so much (contradictory) information but worse, so much fear, worry and sadness.

What I also chew on a lot, because it scares me, is the hardening between people. No understanding or respect for other opinions. No dialogue but positions. Assumptions. Aggression. The reptilian brain in action. Understandable, but that doesn’t make it okay.

I chew on that too.

I live in slow motion in a kind of cocoon with which I also bounce off a lot of interaction. And I am equally satisfied.
I’ve found a new and creative hobby and I listen to my music.

But it has been bubbling again for a few days. A flow that is energetic, more lively and more extroverted. As talkative as I started out, as taciturn as I was in my blog in the last months.
The cocoon becomes a soap-bubble.

There was nothing and everything.

A silver lining

Everything is bubbling to be told because really every day has a silver lining. Before I go to sleep, I just look at the day, specifically at what was good about the day. There is always something good to be found in a day. Even if it was a shitty one. Hope you see those silver linings too.

Music: Lukas Nelson – Simple Life

The freak

the freak

sequel to coming to life – May 2002

An almost toothless mouth

He sits down and smiles at me with an almost toothless mouth. I have noticed more often that the older Greeks do not have the best cared for teeth. Is that a question of poverty or pathological fear of the dentist?

“Hi, are you the Dutch lady who wants to have sailing lessons?”

His speaks English effortlessly. His voice is pleasantly deep, almost raw.

“Yes, I am, why you ask?”
“My friend Vito told me about you”

Vito

Yesterday I met Vito on the beach, an energetic slender Italian man, I estimate a little older than me, with a huge bunch of hair. He seems barely able to sit still. Always moving. He seemed absent to me and when I asked if I could get sailing lessons, I got no clear answer. I left it for what it was.

“I currently live with Vito and his family, We are good friends. I live in a tent in his field near his house. “
“You speak English so easily!” I interrupt him. “How come?”

Three marriages

He tells me that his first wife is from England, that he worked as a taxi driver in London and has a daughter with her. Unsolicited, he says that he has been married three times and has children with all women. He seems to be proud of it.

“Is this your first time here in Thios?”

“I was here for the first time in October of last year. I arrived at midnight and then took a walk along the beach. It felt safe and familiar. The next morning, when I walked from the boulevard into the village, I saw up the road the shop that sells drums. I always wanted to have one. I got goosebumps and wondered; what kind of place is this? Magic? A few days later I bought such a drum and brought it to the Netherlands as hand luggage. “

Raki in a small wine glass

Teodor brings him his Greek coffee and not much later this typical small wine glass filled with raki. Normally raki is served in a petite little glass. Teodor is still playing with his digital camera.

Our conversation is lively and within no time we have a summary of our lives on the table. He seems an intelligent man and has led an unusual life, that is immediately clear to me. He grew up on a Greek island as the son of a fisherman. He would have liked to study but there was no money for that. The Greek Orthodox abbot had suggested to his parents to take him into his monastery and to pay for his studies. His parents did not agree. Fisherman is a decent profession.

Persona non grata

One morning his mother asked what he would like to eat that day, but he never ate that meal. On the same day, he signed on as a 15-year-old on a ship to America without saying anything or saying goodbye. He just disappeared and would return years later.

He is a persona non grata for his family. I can empathize with both him and his mother.

“And you?” he asks. His twinkling eyes don’t let me go.

The picture

I tell him that I am divorced, have two children, have a nice job and lead a happy life. After being severely depressed for a few years I got my life back on the road again. It’s easy to talk to him. Sometimes he bends his head downwards diagonally. It appears to me as a sign of agreement or understanding.

In the meantime, the village has come to life. It is a coming and going of tourists and locals. Some tourists walk down the street in their swimwear. Something I don’t understand. The old mayor who is sitting a few tables away is nodding his head above his newspaper. Sometimes he is startled by surprise. There is nothing wrong with his eyes and they follow the women in their bathing suits. I order a second cup of coffee and Teodor brings another glass of raki for my table companion.

“The only thing I really have trouble with is letting people go,” I continue. “I am very loyal”.

“Can I take a picture of you two?” asks Teodor. We turn away from each other towards the camera and smile into the camera together.

music: Demis Roussos-Come waltz with me

To be continued…

Getting alive

Getting Alive

May 2002

It is only 7 o’clock when I order my coffee outside at the hotel in the main street. The restaurant has just opened. I think it’s a wonderful place to sit. I see the village come alive. The greengrocer removes the burlap sacks from her vegetable crates, which are kept outside all night. The men drink their minuscule cups of Greek coffee before they get started. At this time of the day, the frapé* cup with inside a bag of Nescafé instant coffee and straw is the best-selling item in the supermarket together with the bottles of water and croissants. The baker sells his tiropitas* and spanakopitas* and bread that will have lost all appearance of freshness after a day.

Shopkeepers and restaurant owners do the last of their shopping. The periptero* opposite the hotel that sells candy, ice cream and cigarettes has also opened. It’s a kind of drive-in. The customers stop, let the engine run, jump out of the car, settle their bill. The man in the kiosk knows which brand is being smoked. When they drive on, the cleaner air returns. The village is awakening.

What a memory

On the day of my arrival, Teodor, the owner of the hotel, greeted me by name. “Gia sou Lilith! Kalos tin! Ti kaneis?”*
Last October I ate several times on my own at their taverna, but that he still remembers my name?

He brings me my coffee and shows me his new camera that he purchased yesterday. It is a digital one. He does not yet understand exactly how it works. Well, men and manuals, I think, but say “You will manage”.

Fruit juices and croissants

Meanwhile, parents from nearby villages arrive in their pick-ups to bring their children to school before they start working in the nearby greenhouses and fields. The surrounding mountain villages are so sparsely populated that there are no schools anymore. Fortunately, this village is full of children and there is a kindergarten and primary school. They briefly stop at the supermarket where packages of fruit juice and croissants for the children are purchased.

The main street

The village consists of a one-way main street with some side streets that lead to the sea or to higher streets. It has approximately 400 inhabitants. Some of the villagers are only here during the holidays and vacations. The rest of the year they live in Heraklion or Athens. You hardly see most of the inhabitants but just a small group of familiar faces who hang around every day in the kafenions* and taverns.

The first tourists also find their way to the bakery. Obtaining the bread is apparently a job for the men. Some greet me when they pass by. “Kalimera“*. The Greeks always greet.

A freak

A little man arrives, his head hunched between his shoulders as if someone were about to hit him. He walks in a peculiar way as if his short-curled head wants to go faster than his slender body. His hair and moustache are black as well as his thick eyebrows but his short beard is grey. The grooves in his face delineate him. He is wearing a green sweater that seems too warm for the time of year, baggy trousers and slippers. A leather cord with glasses is hanging around his neck. His skin is as dark as someone who spends all his time outside. He reminds me of an Aboriginal. He looks at me and walks past without saying anything.

After a few steps, he suddenly stops, turns to me and asks:
“Can I join you for a coffee?”
For a moment I think, “What does that freak want from me?”, but his piercing amused eyes are decisive;

” Yes, please sit down.”

At that moment I could never have imagined that this decision would have such an impact on my life. Not only the village, but I also came to life.

continue: The Freak

Music: Nena Venetsanou – Lilith

φραπέ – cold instant coffee
τυρόπιτα – cheesepie
σπανακόπιτα – spinachpie
καφενείο – traditional cafe
περίπτερο – kiosk
για σου – hello
καλός τιν – short for  καλως ηρθες/ηρθατε – welcome
τι κάνεις – how are you
καλημέρα – good morning